Yes. I know I’m a horrible person. Yes. I’m okay with that.

We were once an open minded, trusting sorta folk
until one day by Satan’s hand, an easterly wind broke
the wind chimes clattered kinds of warnings we dared not to heed
for who had ever heard of such a strange, unlikely breed?

Hair orange as a jack-o-lantern, tits upon her back,
a worn out cunt, and to the front an odd, lop-sided rack
although her meals were large enough to overfill a trough
her appetite was more attuned to sucking people off.

You’ll hear that she got pregnant, but the baby wasn’t seen
As legend goes, she ate it when she ran out of icecream
but I think that’s just something they proclaim so we feel safe
and I suspect her blood still flows through every nasty waif

If you should catch your friendships being mauled by the unknown
or perhaps you have a brand new friend who’s slightly overgrown
If money’s gone, you could be pawn to Mandi’s clever spell
caught up in running favors in some soap opera to hell

From the patches around harvest time, in the backyard of my house
perhaps along that river, came the ratty, sucking louse
No one knows why we deserved to have such plague unleashed
but may you be forewarned to know the tale of Pumpkin Beast