Dream Record

I’m at a psychiatric ward, which doesn’t shock me.

We’re sitting at tables in a half-cafeteria/half-waiting room looking place. Part of me is wanting to know what’s wrong with me that got me here – as though the sickness doesn’t allow it to register. Meanwhile, parents are meeting up with their kids, as everyone in my group seems to have that same “mom shows up after football practice” mentality, and are in my blah-to-24 age bracket.

One girl sits down at my table while I’m reeling from having been thrown into a dream. I remember her saying some sad things like… perhaps attempted suicide? And she seems to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. After I’ve gotten to know her a little, my mom shows up and asks where I’d like to go for lunch.

She names places where you have to wait for your meal and pay lots of money. Chillis. TGIF. Outback. Etc. A few feet away, some very large lady and son have settled on another big place to eat, and are walking away.

The girl is sitting all alone, now. I’m really sad, and tear up. I ask if we can just go to a fast food place (which we’ll find to be built in like a mall cafe) so we can pay for her to have a meal, too. My mom agrees to the idea.

Then I’m standing at the counter, trying to show this girl what they have, but none of the menu has legible words on it. “What, is everyone used to knowing what they want, here?” So I’m asking her what kind of meat she’ll want – fries, blah blah blah – when it jumps sequence.

I’m in an audience with my family, watching an extravagant stageplay entirely devoted to clowns, starring Robin Williams. He’s singing and moving around – everyone is brightly dressed and balancing and dancing on weird things. Some lady with a clipboard walks up and says to my row, “Anyone for two seats blah blah blah?”

Dad jumps, “Me and my daughter…” So, we’re following her backstage and up to a …almost…balcony seat. And the perspective of the show has changed… we can’t see the special lights, anymore – we’re closer and watching this raw performance. Lots of… behind the scenes things we couldn’t see, before.

I have some kind of black eye-nose mask on, maybe from the gift shop or program. I pull it up to rest on top of my head. And I swear… I thought I saw Robin turn around and applaud me.

Finally, I’m riding in a car down my dirt road with other people. Who, I forget. Parts of the road are on fire, and I reason, “Huh! Someone must have dumped a flammable chemical in certain places.” It’s also raining, and there appear to be a lot of tree roots and sticks on the road.



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