Murky Sugar Water

*Written up for people who have posted their own miserable experiences with message boards and the like. You’re not alone.
***

I’m always hearing about everyone else’s cyber dramas, to which the easiest reply is, “It’s just the internet. Don’t let it bother you.” Of course, I know better, being someone who is active at places where some of the most asinine people reside: Britney Spears sites.

One place was a bitch at first because I lurked in the comments and stood up for a few members who would post something legit and get insulted as though the most sarcastic attack won rights to the subject.

“Thank you for saying something on my behalf. It means a lot to me.”
“SHE IS NOT the DEN MOTHER!”
“But great_dame is right.”
“HEY! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your fucking trap shut.”

For some reason, I had pictured fellow Britney fans… somewhat differently. No longer would I wonder why entries from new posters started off with apologies and requests for mercy.

What should have been an easy in-and-out job would not be so convenient; in order to download from the media threads at the largest Brit board out there, one has to register and post 200 times before receiving access. Rather than move on, I sucked it up and participated in current topics like “the clothes Britney buys for her Chihuahua, Bit-Bit” and “your thoughts on the 100th dance club mix of Slave”. There is a team constantly looking to report anyone whose answers seem too spontaneous or short, and anyone caught “spamming” with replies shorter than essay length are banned.

I bombed them, anyway.

Q:What Should Britney Name Her Next Album?
A: Sexy Sex. Submit reply. Next.

And with 199 more replies like that in a matter of hours, I had received the beginner’s one week suspension. It actually saved me a lot of time. Besides. Sexy Sex would bank on its title alone. If I screwed up again, they told me, I wouldn’t be allowed back. My login working again, I ran over to a cable connection and burned off the dozens of performances I’d sniffed out the week before. “Mother load”, I’d suspected. I’d been correct.

Now, I watch the different media threads (requests, administrator submissions, fan posts) and snag anything I don’t already have. If I come across something to share at the boards or LJ community, I upload it in hopes that others will continue to do the same. If a topic’s hot, I’ll throw in my thoughts, and this has become a daily stop on my internet route. Fun enough, right? Not always.

Unbelievable rumors get discussed on valley girl levels that are hard to leave alone. My inbox fills with dead beats who claim to have bootleg material, but refuse to send first despite my proof of over 100 positive feedbacks. Today I posted a mashup that went over well at britney_fans, to see some kid claiming to have made it, who didn’t, somewhere else. One little girl filtered a few-second sample file of a quality acapella track but refused to post the full because her number of views didn’t match the number of replies pleading for the whole track.

After thoroughly exposing these people as moronic (resulting in one absolute retreat, the fucking scammer), I sat back this evening and thought, “I should have distanced myself from the pink layout, gotten what I wanted and ignored all comments. They’re young people who don’t mean anything to me, joined together by their interest in a pop star, for Christ’s sake. I need to chill.”

I’ve told myself, next time.

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9 responses to “Murky Sugar Water

  1. In my whole time online I have been banned from three message boards but I don’t count one of them since my reason for being banned was that my font was too big. Anyway, I’ve been banned from the other two for two different stupid reasons. One was because some guy claimed that I hacked his account(I didn’t). The other was some controlling guys online had a crush on me and couldn’t take it that I didn’t want him so he posted a bunch of stupid things that made it look like we were fighting and we both got banned. I’ve gotten in online trouble of the stupid kind I guess you could say. The girls on that Britney board seem really immature.

  2. I’m envious of Britney, but I wouldn’t want to be her. I like my privacy.

    Well, I hope you got your fill of pop music goodness :) Oh, I love messageboard drama; watching the postviews and replies build up until the thread degrades into an all out flame war… then again, it’s probably not so funny (at least for the people involved).

    The Internet sure is a fun place. I bet some neat sociological studies can/will eventually come from ‘net behavior (like messageboard trolling, basic instant messaging interaction, uses of communication etc). Ok, that’s it for my little “half-baked, i don’t want to be at work” tangent.

    So is this the place to ask? What’s your interest in Britney Spears? She certainly has an interesting thing going on :o

    • The majority would never picture me as a fan.

      Does her interesting “thing” constitute as her prerogative, perhaps?

      In the summer of 2000, I downloaded “Autumn Goodbye” from Napster, cause I was like, “Hey, that’s me.” And it was all downhill from there. Some kind of dam broke was that preventing me from hearing pop music with an open mind. I’d been trained to hate Britney Spears.

      I still feel fairly stupid engaging in it at times, because it wasn’t too long ago when I shared a mentality with the crowd that frowns on any artist who has a company giving/making their image.

      So there’s the truth. I like the way she sounds. Some people like to download porn when no one’s looking. I sit here and download pop tunes.

      • Indeed it does :) I didn’t think much of her at first, but she’s stuck around and has had an amazing career at such a young age. I also get a kick out of the way the media tends to blow things out of proportion about her going-ons: “omg, today britney was caught cursing!” (other things that come to mind: the wedding, VH1’s “britney’s most shocking moments,” and pictures of her smoking)

        How closely do you follow her? Are her records still going strong? It seems like she finds success wherever she goes :o Hmmm, maybe she’s “the new madonna” or some other hotbutton comparison.

      • I don’t watch any of those specials on TV, but I follow her a lot more closely, now that the Lj community constantly posts every bit of confirmed information out there. It’s nothing terribly exciting – mostly, I just surf around for unheard/seen media.

        I recently gave a respected bootlegger 5 bucks for a good quality Onyx Tour DVD concert. I hear that for “Touch of my hand”, she disrobes to reveal a skin-tight, skin-colored suit to make her appear nude. Then she climbs into a clear half-egg made to look like a bath tub. Sounds hot.

        Her greatest hits release did really well, and the video collection dvd has done well, too. The richest girl in her field, at her age, in the history of the world. She got a grammy for “Toxic” – one of the awards that Christina Aguliera fans always claimed their favorite star would have over Britney’s credentials.

        It’s all fine and dandy, but I just want some new material.

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