The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy – your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone’s obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski


In which I roll my skeleton pirates in phone book pages and put them in a cardboard box.

Wow, a day off! Well, okay, so I only work four days a week – every laborless day is precious to me. Unfortunately I can’t waste it yielding a katana blade on Wii or by pissing away my cash on Spears-related Ebay auctions today (which I’ve taken a serious break from in fear of my “collection” resembling more of a “shrine”); we’re MOVING!

I had sat down with an adviser who kept insisting that my demands (entry level, pet building, two bedroom by September) would unlikely be met and he kept insisting, “it all depends on how much you’re willing to pay”. These words discouraged and raised red flags so I reported discrimination the next day after a female adviser flipped her book open and said, “Everything you want is available right now”.

Someone from corporate called soon after and apologized for the way I was treated. We got to break our current lease with no penalty for an early move-in date, pet deposits waived, and I was informed that the troubling advisor would not be employed with them after that week’s end. Sweet!

I like my current apartment but it has some flaws, 99% of them to be corrected with our trek across the community into one of the larger units. Brad will have his own room for the oversized musical equipment and I will gain triple the closet space. Not only that but the location of the building is way in the back on the farthest corner as opposed to our current state of being “the leasing office’s front yard”, as I call it (imagine having a locker right next to the teacher’s lounge).

I kept a poker face during our walkthrough when I spotted a bunch of upgrades in our new place. There is a newer chandelier, tile backsplash in the kitchen, an updated vanity in the bathroom and some other little perks to be excited about. We’re painting accent walls, too. So YAY! I am all about this transition.

I like knowing where I’m going.

Brad got some more early birthday gifts in hopes of inspiring him to move those damn heavy boxes: a black, glass tv stand for his flatscreen and a video gaming chair! It’s one of those that sits on the floor and has the speakers built in and crap; I’m sure he’ll love it… and I’ll love having the top of my entertainment center back as the mantel it’s intended to be.

In other news, I was voted Associate Of the Quarter! Not so much feeling honored by The Man (I kinda scoff at paper certificates, pins and other nonsense intended to make the underpaid work harder) but the support of my peers feels awesome (it was mainly the young slice of employees who made this happen) and it’s perfect timing for my September review. Oh, and I got $100 which I already blew on furniture for the new place. How cool is that?!

“How cool is that?! So I went to your room and read your diar-ree-heee…”