Did the Easter thing. My mother cooked up a meal that is best as leftovers mixed together in a large bowl: some potato on the bottom, stuffing with celery for roughage, tear up some turkey, drizzle gravy and top with a sour cream and cheesy green bean casserole that is to die for. Midwest Heaven Special.
Drove near Niku’s home but failed to drop in. If he isn’t waiting at the end of the driveway without Due Back At restrictions, it just doesn’t sound as fun.
My brother’s self-perception got on my last nerve. Straightening his jacket, he claimed “Old Guy In A New Suit” as though his profound wisdom had caused him to age prematurely.
Wasting his life in one of two business outfits which he alternates throughout the year, collecting his cats’ hair, griping over the state of our planet and how badly he needs money for toys and drugs, that wasn’t the smartest thing to say to me. All playful humor drained from my eyes and I corrected him very seriously.
No, Christopher, “You’re a New Guy In An Old Suit. And you should give it some thought.”
With a rare burst of PM energy, I dragged my trash across the parking lot. The cool air felt comforting, a smart aid to my recent fevers. Dim lighting from surrounding buildings lit my walk and the energy of those around me, never too far away to hear an alarm or scream, made me feel safe. It is technically the busy city, a scene that many apartment-dwellers hope to escape from. But to me, the large group of people is important.
Together we are not my dark country home. Unseen forest animals do not screech outside my bedroom window.
Life has been working, which, if you know me, is pretty amazing. I left my bedroom less than three years ago without a prayer and fell into the real world as if I’d lived in it. I continue to walk between the flying bullets, avoiding tragedy on all sides. Some of it is effort, some of it is luck. I don’t credit destiny much, anymore… logic is the only tool that seems to work in this realm.
All of this budgeting is getting old, though. Decimals, alliances, chandeliers and management. I might have come from way out in middle of nowhere but there was something about the stillness that made it easier to stay inside my head. I keep feeling like I left something important behind.
I think I need to get back there, somehow.