With a rare burst of PM energy, I dragged my trash across the parking lot. The cool air felt comforting, a smart aid to my recent fevers. Dim lighting from surrounding buildings lit my walk and the energy of those around me, never too far away to hear an alarm or scream, made me feel safe. It is technically the busy city, a scene that many apartment-dwellers hope to escape from. But to me, the large group of people is important.
Together we are not my dark country home. Unseen forest animals do not screech outside my bedroom window.
Life has been working, which, if you know me, is pretty amazing. I left my bedroom less than three years ago without a prayer and fell into the real world as if I’d lived in it. I continue to walk between the flying bullets, avoiding tragedy on all sides. Some of it is effort, some of it is luck. I don’t credit destiny much, anymore… logic is the only tool that seems to work in this realm.
All of this budgeting is getting old, though. Decimals, alliances, chandeliers and management. I might have come from way out in middle of nowhere but there was something about the stillness that made it easier to stay inside my head. I keep feeling like I left something important behind.
I think I need to get back there, somehow.