Brad has been leading me around when I become quiet and immobile. He took me out for sushi and even did some shopping for that artificial surge. We didn’t let the loss of income stop my weekend hopes of seeing The Rum Diary or getting the house ready for Halloween – we’re still living, as if trying to prove a greater point.
And yet, I slept late and found it hard to get out of bed, again this morning. It’s like starting over, over, and over.
He said, let’s grab the dogs and go up north. My heart started beating. One place I can still always go is Home. It was suddenly something to do.
While walking the grounds, I took photos. I purposely focused on the things that made sense. It felt really comforting.
The funniest thing, I thought, was when I looked into the backyard and saw this against the beautiful colors I sought after:
Christopher got the parts to a large tent and has been making a different, giant shape every so often. It’s just something he does, something Mom and Dad leave him alone about.
As quirky as it is, I found myself staring at it today, like there was something to gain from it. That eyesore of an obstacle, with its dimensions and hollow tubing in a place that is still beautiful even if it will never be the same.
Some of the greatest ‘Whys’ are the hardest ones to understand.
UPDATE: One of my friends commented, “Definitely a portal of some kind. Either that or your brother makes a truly awful tent.”