White Gold

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Fantasy bottles at the window

 As soon as she could cash in, Elizabeth Arden teamed up with the Britney Machine and signature fragrances were born. As a fan, I never felt the urge to give my money for sticker books, window clings or anything else that was being churned out at high speed around the turn of the millennium. A perfume, however, is purposeful – the scents are actually good, and I’ve been on board with her fragrance line ever since it debuted with ‘Curious’ in 2004.

The Brit Stink is collected from a stream of pubescent hormones, saturated in amber and infused with extracts of orchids, cupcakes, vanilla beans and candy.The ‘Fantasy’ series has raked it in by the million and there’s a different one for every Britney era (‘Hidden Fantasy’, ‘Midnight Fantasy’, etc) with a slightly different take on the smell of Yum. It’s a sexy syrup and if you abuse it, it will fuse into garbage juice. Each bottle typically has swarovski crystals embedded into it and I go nuts whenever I hold one. Must be some clever design that appeals to my love for shiny, sparkly things that make me happy. I dunno why I think they’re beautiful; I just dig them and go hunting for them in their various sizes and colors.

I have some issues with the concept of ‘Circus Fantasy’, as that translates to ‘Elephant Poop’ in my book – and there is a very peculiar release called ‘Believe’ that smells like sandalwood, licorice and ‘guavo’ (which sounds too close to ‘guano/bat poop’) that I don’t particularly care for. Did that stop me from compulsively completing my collection? Hell no. I’ve got em all.

While I could never convey a scent using only words, I can say that I just about always spray some in the room before I sit down to write or listen to records. It’s not my fault that my LastFM play history has lately been getting clogged with electro-pop; it’s what tends to happen when the sun reflects that fruity, seductive liquid onto my MP3 player.

It’s interesting to me, how women wear mostly sweet scents while men wear musky, woody tones. Speaking personally, if more men smelled like sugar, I would feel tempted to seek out and devour them.

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