Deliberate Release


##POP! ##POP!## POP!## POP!

The sound of balloons being wasted so instantly caused me to run over to the department that had spruced up their displays with the little round helium balls.

“Not like that! You’re being loud for nothing!” I interrupted, waving my arms and causing the gentlemen to lower their scissors.

Then I showed them the proper way to deflate a balloon. I reached for the cutting knife in my drawer, stretched the part of the balloon just above the knot, between my index and middle finger, and extracted the blade in my other hand.

“All you need is a little slit. It won’t make a sound.”

Once it had been cut, I set the knife down and held the balloon in both hands. Slowly, silently, the air began to drain. I bit my lip and grinned.

“You can feel it, escaping.”

The boys stood still. There was a ‘wow’.

“Best part of all, that messy sick feeling we walk around with totally goes away for a while!” My arms shook like relief was rushing through my blood.

I may or may not have felt drunk as I tossed the little latex thing into the trash. But none of them followed my cue and they went back to stabbing with scissors.

“Autumn… likes to kill balloons… and watch them die as she cradles them in her hands,” I heard one of them say to the other.

As the weekend came to a close, Isaac found a few strays still tied to a fixture at the back of the building. He unwound the ribbons, brought them up and dropped them on my desk before scurrying off.



Support For Your Product


This is from a different LP office I visited recently. Let’s forgive their spelling error; the little puppy is too cute. Everything there was clearly labeled – you gotta love a space that’s easy to understand.

Today I watched a young man grab something a certain way and mess with it in the back corner. He looked to see how the package came open. He stood there like he was looking at cables. He shoved it up his sweatshirt. Petty.

After I shared this with my coworkers, they contacted the suspect and got the item back. Then he went up to the service desk where the other, older member of his party was purchasing a home security system.

Concerned that my paying customer may not know to point the cameras inside the house, I waited for them to approach the exit and I said, “Oh, hey! I’ll bring you a shopping cart the next time you need one – you don’t have to put items up your shirt.”

“Oh, Um, Okay, I was just um, okay thank you.”

“What was she talking about?!?!” I heard her say, as they walked outside.

A few minutes later the would-be-thief came back inside because his mother had left her phone, but was too humiliated to come back in for it herself. The point had landed.

Not in our house. Maybe in hers, unfortunately…but not in ours.

Just Missed

Mom: How do you feel about a visit?

Autumn May: Sounds great! Everything OK?

Mom: Yes. Just miss you is all.

Because I couldn’t get my stuff together in time, I ended up texting my mom at the last minute, “Guess what? We’re comin’ up to see YOU! Yaeeee!” Then I piled my dog into the car and saved my parents a trip.





My grandpa would always take time to walk around the house whenever he came down from Ithaca. Now it’s something I always want to do whenever I go home.


I thought it was cool how the sunlight hit the prism, shined on the flowers, came in through the kitchen window and left patterns on the walls.


Okay, so I was telling my brother that I wanted to pull these wild vines off from Mom’s shrub and when I went to lift the first vine, something was hidden there. Look at the center of the photo…you see a pale yellow line, like part of a rope…SNAKE!!! OMG I ran away. Then I went back and took a photo. And I ran away again.


The Duchess.