I handed off my Tamagotchi in a challenge to see if another person could keep it alive. During the months I took care of it I told myself that I would reveal many things – that I would be able to say something for having incorporated the virtual pet into my life. I also swore that I would 2. Conquer the game and 3. Become awesome.

I obviously had very high hopes for this venture.

For a child who has ample free time, running a continuous program is fun and easy. I found that with places to be, responsibilities and pressure from my own peers, Tamagotchi is rough. You start off uncool right off the bat and there are various questions as if you [secretly] have a profound reason for playing with the toy. So you defend yourself in the challenge, reach for rationalization that was probably never there and by the time you figure out how to keep the digital creature alive you have realized how many people you’re surrounded by are judgmental, selfish assholes.

Occasionally someone would see the toy lying somewhere and go, “Oh my GOSH is that what I think it is?! Ohh that is so cool!” and I would get a glimpse of the sort of spirited person that I should have been friending throughout life.

Even though the game was in a language I couldn’t read, I figured it out through trial and error, pictures and memorization. I’ve never been good at associating names with people or places so the words didn’t really matter. What I struggled with was remembering to take the toy with me when I left the house…or even remembering that I had to tend to it at all. It became apparent to me, in the form of losing that challenge over and over, that I needed to stop regularly ignoring the tools I needed to succeed day to day.

Since keeping the Tamagotchi I’ve stopped losing my wallet and keys. I’ve learned to think about what it takes to be prepared. I think about where I put something down. I check in with myself more and depend on other people less. I practiced careful timing (i.e. how not to hatch a newborn in the middle of my shift). I learned to develop that perfect science and eliminate the inconveniences I was always suffering from.  And I believe that the issues we have, the important ones we really need to address, are especially easy to see when we’re trying to goof off.

So today, because it had all become easy, I challenged a coworker to take on something that he found rather silly. Will there be a bigger lesson, an underlying purpose in the concept of Tamagotchi?

Or will he just hand it back, dead.


How It Appears

It’s 5:30 AM and I don’t know why I stopped sleeping. The white paper I begin my moments with is full of objects, sounds, scenes, which probably has a lot to do with it. Typically I wake up blank, but for whatever reason everything is still here, replaying in parts, continuing to buzz and flow.

Things from yesterday.  The 3-inch-thick stack of semi glossy papers John flipped through with his fingers before sliding everything into a plastic bag and taking it out to his car mid-shift.

“I just don’t want them to get rained on.”

How I noticeably took interest in the documents. How he purposely refrained from angling them in my direction.

“You could probably guess,” he threw somewhere in there, quickly but almost regretfully. I shot him a look that said ‘Yeah, like crap for your new job because I’m always right that you’re leaving and not telling anyone yet.’

“Don’t look at me like that.”


Dear Diary and Everyone Else

My brother is home again, taking some time to rest and adjust. I assume it will be a few days until he is back out on the streets making a damn fool of himself and getting arrested for ridiculously stupid reasons (reference: charging a cop car on foot, exiting a bar and exclaiming “Well, I’m gonna go blow up the cinema”, pleading at crazy love interest to not break into random vehicle before being tackled as an accomplice in possession of marijuana, riding a bicycle past homes at 4 AM while singing loudly, etc etc etc). Oh, you know, all of the crazy shit that happens when you refuse to take your medications and hang around users in the sad reality that your sister can barely wrap her head around before feeling tired and hopeless. Welcome home, Christopher.


current Tama model with attachment

The Tamagotchi* I was carrying around, died. Correction: it left, which is equivalent to dying as the envelope flying through the air with a teary face means that all of the time you invested and any achievement you unlocked has all gone away. Suddenly what was a minor eccentricity seems a blaringly humiliating quirk, having been willing to cart a plastic egg around to the most professional of places for what you always knew meant nothing but suddenly was the big, black void in your life.

“I’ll be your friend, I mean, since you need one,” the head boss commented as he noted the toy on my desk. From back when I at least had that.

Make no small thing of the Tamagotchi departing, for it is small in size but heavy in weight – seriously though, it can feel pretty awful to lose the only save you made in a long game. Since then I have started over with an emphasis on the importance of not going to bed while the Tamagotchi is at its part-time job; it will work itself into a state of hunger and unhappiness while I’m out like a rock. Okay, so maybe I was a bit of a slave driver. But we needed those points to redeem for amazing pixelated presents and I’m not about to sit down and actually earn them with the damn thing – I’m busy.

This week I’m giving a presentation at the district training for asset protection. It’s going to be pretty sweet because I will be toting along my A-Game, which admittedly is much harder on a daily basis than when I have advanced notice of needing to show up and inspire the company I work for. Much like Britney Spears, between performances I can get pretty scary looking (acting/sounding/alarming to others…) and it is best to just focus on The Autumn Machine than the girl with the online journal and virtual pet and all of that nonsense.

Ap’s Log, fiscal date 6/24/13. The crew has started to display an uncommon behavioral trait of heightened awareness surrounding my CCTV surveillance. It seems that an unknown element has recently made my capabilities known to them, more so than before, and while their means to wonder is only natural… the underlying reasons for their incessant whistle-blowing is proving to be counter-productive to what a “crew” should be.

“Hey, go to the cash office. Who is that? Who is in there with them? How long have they been in there?”

“Can you keep an eye on Whatshisface and let me know when he comes off from his break?”

AP’s Log, Supplemental. An unknown virus has continued to cause attempts at invasive, abusive power of the Eye In the Sky. I have refused all requests while hoping to discover a cure. Even GoodyGoodguy, who normally does jumping jacks for our mission because they make him giggle, has started to show symptoms.

“Hey, zoom in on MyCo-worker.”

“Why, GoodyGoodguy?”

“I just…I don’t know. I have some questions there.”

Disorienting, distracting, whatever this is has the potential to knock us completely out of alignment. I’ve taken it upon myself to address this with the council and hopefully my message will alleviate some of the madness in time. Also, I have been researching park visits on the Tamagotchi during certain hours and it seems that if you talk to the dog-looking ones three times you can adopt it as a pet, essentially, a pet for your virtual pet.

Perhaps I amuse myself with simple games to avoid playing the foolish ones.

*Link Provided above is Youtube: Many Tamagotchis Were Harmed In the Making… a video about hacking the Tamagotchi